Greeenbat Workshop Exercise 1.2
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
So hello. My name is Mystie Merys, though I go by ReishaTerrin and SheridanLightrose <--- though this name I plan to change in the near future. Why do I want to be a writer? I love to write and express myself. A while back JoesphBlakeParker had an excercise that had a similar question so it's been awhile but you can find it here ACWAN 1.1, I can't say to much has changed about why I want to write. I still want to be a writer who brings intense emotion to my readers. I want to pull them into a fictional world of wonder and adventure and I want to introduce them to characters that they can look up to, or learn from and even relate to on some level. I want to create stories that are fun and just draw the reader into a point they feel as though they are apart of the journey (like I always feel when I read a fantastic book) and not just along for the ride (thought that's not a bad thing to accomplish either!). When I read a book from a writer I love and I feel that I'm right there alongside the protagonist and their struggle, pain, happiness and then in the end when their journey is over and I feel exhausted as if i'd just experienced it for myself? That the kind of feeling of emotion I want to accomplish in my writing and give to my readers.
For years (since middle school) I've had this idea for a novel in my head and scribbled around all over the place. I'm now 27 years old and the idea just won't go away and I want to bring it to life. even if it takes another 27 years I will do it. Everyday is a learning experiance. But I can't do it alone. I write everyday. Pratice everything I learn though fanfictions, to me what better way to pratice?
You learn by writing short stories. Keep writing short stories. The money’s in novels, but writing short stories keeps your writing lean and pointed.
– Larry Niven
I am in no means the best writer, I don't even think I'm a good writer, yet. You can ask Mr. JosephBlakeParker or Mr. Blain Bradshaw of the many question I ask each of them. I can say that while I am not the best of writers and still have a lot to learn, every day I am learning and it will be thanks to Mr. JosephBlakeParker, Mr. Blain Bradshaw and the people of this workshop in the guidance of beccoming one step closer to being better writer.
It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.
– Ernest Hemingway
Next? What is the Genre of the Novel i'll be working on? Well assuming it's just like JosephBlakeParker threw at us on his lesson of this:
Even though it's not really a Genre, but it is to me because it's what i'm into reading: Lgbt Fantasy adventure
What is the intensity of your novel?
Middle intensity? I'd say possible Young Adult and up. The Fantasy elements are very similar to High fantasy. The world my novel takes place in is fake, made up there are more then just the human race and Magic is a big part of the world. There will be violent situations, death, sexual tension even among same sex genders (my protagonist is a backwards woman-girl who like girls-) and there will be other adult themes. Its a world of adventure possible told from more then one POV <-- this isn't decided yet.
What is the conflict of my novel?
A basic good vs evil cliche, all though the adventure is more character driven then action. (though I hope to do justice to the action parts as well) One of the main elements is of the Protagonist and her obsession with obtaining her freedom, while being pulled into the bigger plot of evil schemes. She learns about herself and is forced to overcome many struggles, and learn to control this power in her she's uncovered while she fights for what she wants (Freedom). There will be love and loss and beautiful betrayal! It all comes with adventure
Tragedy there will be survival, but there will be loss
Chapter Rewrite
Nightshade by Shea Godfrey
So I chose to do a scene/Excerpt from this book because of all the books I've been reading lately, this one is still at the top of my love list. Why? Because in my view point it was an introduction book/saga/of the series. In the first book, "Nightshade" You meet the Characters and a bit of their world. And I chose this because it's similar of what I want to do and the the two protagonists are female's who fall inlove and both of them want a sort of freedom: One from of the life she's expeceted to adopt be play role too, and the other freedom to be open and about who she is and free to love who she's wants. I chose this book for educational purposes and writing practice. I’m not trying to improve the book in any way I love the way Shea Godfrey writes. This excercise was exprememly diffcult to do!
Orginal text
Darry ran, her bare feet sure within the thick grass despite the morning dew. She rushed through the hedgerows of the gardens at a rapid pace. The air burning her lungs felt good. Darry tasted the sharpness of the hedges with each breath. Their scent fill the back of her head and flooded her with the flavor of new things.
She bolted down a separate path near the heart of the main gardens, never stopping, pushing herself faster. She laughed, breathless as she ducked her head and broke through the corner of a hedge in a sharp turn, leaves flying in her wake. She could smell the water.
Jessa walked along the edges of the clearing in the clear early morning sun. She trailed her hand through the Ivy and Verdant leave of the hedge. The small white flowers of hamesroot were in the full bloom and tangled within the branches, teasing her fingers and stirring her sense of touch.
The bluish-green water of the pond was set within the small glade, the land it occupied low within the center of a natural depression and fed by a spring near the eastern edge.
It was a place of serenity and undeniable beauty, the colors rich and fulfilling, and as jessa moved along the southern hedges, she wondered how deep the water might be at the center. When summer was high in Lynoness and the heat at times unbearable in its arid oppression, the mosaic tiles on the bottom of the reflecting pool in the western courtyard of the jade palace showed, bereft of water. The comparison appalled her.
The Princess Darrius burst into the clearing in a rage of movement and Jessa stumbled into the solid presence of the hedge. She spoke the runes of her spell upon sheer instinct, the Veil of shadows rising like a surge of heat erupting from the earth.
This was very hard to do. Because I love it the way it was. I only did little little changes, like of how i would have written it. I hope that’s what we were supposed to do 
Also.. I hope and tried hard to catch any erros when I was typeing this up from the orginal text. But I'm only human...
Rewrite
Darry ran, rushing through the hedgerows of the gardens as fast as her legs would allow, her bare feet wet with the morning dew. The air burning her lungs felt good and there was this taste, a sharpness of the hedges that filled her lungs with each breath, filling the back of her head with the flavor of new things.
She bolted down a separate path near the heart of the main gardens, never stopping, pushing herself faster. She laughed, breathless as she ducked her head and broke through the corner of a hedge in a sharp turn, leaves flying in her wake. She could smell the water.
Jessa walked along the edge of the clearing that early morning, trailing her hand through the Ivy and Verdant leaves of the hedge. The small white flowers of hamesroot were in bloom, tangled within the branches, tickling her fingers beneath her touch.
She peered out towards the pond, at the bluish-green water set within a small glade, the land it occupied was low within the center of a natural depression, fed by the spring near the eastern edge.
It was a place of serenity and undeniable beauty, the colors rich and fulfilling, and as Jessa moved along the southern hedges, she wondered how deep the water might be at the center. When summer was high in Lynoness and the heat at times unbearable in its arid oppression, the mosaic tiles on the bottom of the reflecting pool, in the western courtyard of the jade palace, showed a bereft of water. The comparison appalled her.
Princess Darrius burst into the clearing in a rage of movement. Jessa stumbled into the solid presence of the hedge, speaking the runes of her spell upon sheer instinct. The Veil of shadows rose over her, like a surge of heat erupting from the earth.
One could argue that almost ever story is good versus evil, but the author describes the terms or degrees of good and evil being portrayed. If the reader is truly in the character's head than they should be sympathetic to their cause even if it is completely out of the norm. There are threads of humanity that can be applied to bring characters closer to the reader even if they are not good. Something which can be discussed more thoroughly later.